Ever notice how there’s a lot of difference between reading Shakespeare’s Hamlet and Sparknotes’ Hamlet? “It is the East, and Juliette is the sun” is never going to be eclipsed by “Juliette is pretty” which is more or less how I remember my friends trying to characterize Shakespeare. Shame on them for settling for lesser quality. Sadly, it seems that lesser quality dumbing down has come to Horror. And to this humble Swedish writer’s disgust, it has come the one time Sweden has finally put out something of exceptional quality. More importantly, it is a well-crafted and thoughtful horror film where the writing really is part of the excellence. And what have we found? The US DVD release, it transpires, has decided to go away from the subtitles given to screeners and to the cinema release, and go with Subtitles for Idiots. I only wish I was making this up, but honestly some of the screen shots I’ve seen are shudderingly poor. The best solution, it’s time for you all to learn Swedish. Seriously though, Let’s examine some of this.

The news broke on Icons Of Fright who have done a thoroughly impressive job of finding inconsistencies in the translations. A quick click of that link will break down some of the most obvious flaws with the DVD release translation. My personal favourite is where a sardonic exchange that has a cute ring to it is exchanged for a dry and colorless conversation. It is the first exchange in the above-linked montage. Now what is the fundamental tragedy here? The fundamental tragedy is not that subtitles suck, because subtitles have sucked on many many films through the ages. I know, I often speak the language that is being subtitled. When the new remake of Sanjuro, a Kurosawa classic, came out on DVD I was not surprised to see some funny lines boiled down to basic facts, simply because there was not space. If the Swedish film had been given the same hack-job, then it would just be a bit lamentable. But the real tragedy here is that some advanced screeners and cinematic releases HAD exceptional subtitles, and were exceedingly amusing for the English speaker as well as the Swede. They had done the job well. They had preserved the storyline. And now they’ve gone and Sparknoted the damn thing, reducing clever exchanges to base and boring statements. Obviously, it isn’t so bad for me, the Swedish guy. I can understand the actual scenes without subtitles. But for anyone who is not fluent in the Swedish language, it is a kick in the crotch that is undeserved.

The problem is thus doubled for someone like myself. The Swedish film board is trying desperately to make their films more markettable to the international audience, with the Swedish market being incredibly limited. Quite a few new projects are being geared more and more towards international releases and trying to grab a slice, however slim, of the much larger international market. It was the top headline of Sweden’s top newspaper, Dagens Nyheter, today. Every last one of the new projects all sound very exciting in the eyes of this Swedish writer and film-fan. But if they are going to botch the subtitles on their DVDs, what is the piont. More immediately, can I rightly recommend that you guys go out and buy the new DVD. Hard question. It will still be an immense film to watch, and chances are if you didn’t know before, you won’t be able to tell that you’re missing out. So perhaps you should gamble. Or perhaps, wait till the UK releases a DVD, and hope it has proper subtitles. For now, all we can do is hope that the film gets a kinder treatment, or that horror fans start learning Swedish at an alarming rate. Jag önskar att jag kunde vara mer hjälpsam, men hur fan lär man svenska på nätet till en helt okänd grupp nyhetsbloggsläsare??