I love buying films. I really do. My collection is an ever-growing melange of Horror movies, Asian classical cinema, Danish modern films, and a dose of films every man must own, such as 300. I even boast a fine collection of Nazi films, from Nazi themed films like Der Untergang, Schindler’s List, Inside the Third Reich and Kolberg to documentaries like Triumph of the Will and Hitler Speaks. I love buying films. But lately I’ve realized that there is a trend, as strong in horror as in any other, of making me waste my money. Repeatedly having to buy films and newer versions of films and special editions of films, it’s like there is no end to the amount of stuff they think they can make me purchase. It’s taking the piss, quite frankly, and we should all stand up and say something about it.

Horror in particular is a very keen regurgitator of films. Most likely, this stems from a few things, and I shall deal with them each in the order of my choosing. First of all, I believe that horror gets targetted for many versions because horror is an incredibly DVD-driven genre. How many horror films get big releases on massive theater chains? A select few, and perhaps a few that are dubiously considered horror, such as Van Helsing. But by and large, the massive volumes and ptomes of Horror are given the ’straight to DVD’ campaign. Thus, logic tells us that if Horror fans are to want horror films, its the DVD shop, an online rental store, or perhaps illegal downloading (shame on you! support the genre) which is left to us as fans. Already we are clearly ready to put money into the DVD market. There are no two ways about it, to enjoy horror you need to have some access to the film, and you will likely have to buy it. We have our own burning interest in the genre fuelling the shop sales for horror. This need to buy the films is then multiplied by the fact that many great horror films can be B-movie and C-movie goodness, as well as little indie films. The same is hardly true of other genres. You wouldn’t go out of your way to find a DVD of some crappy independent Drama about menopause. But you will hunt like a madman to find “Anal Paprika 3: Menage-a-Death” if for no other reason than to brag to your friends that you own a film that somehow managed to produce 3 installments of assfucking peppers, metaphorically. You can even pretend that they are deep films, who’s gonna know? But I digress. The point here is that we find treasures on DVD shelves and in bargain bins, as well as ameliorating our collection with some of the finest DVDs known to man, like the Evil Dead box-set that is bound in a fake human flesh, or the Hellraiser Box-set that is actually the Lament Configuration. These are things every horror fan needs to feel good about himself and his taste. So the first reason why we’re given so many bloody DVD choices and versions is because we as genre-lovers do enjoy and need to buy DVDs. It’s part of the process.

The next reason why I think Horror is a prime target for the DVD versions is the trouble with the idea of pushing boundaries in horror, and yet conforming to Rating systems in cinemas and occasionally in DVD shops. Most horror directors, if they could, would probably walk behind John Wayne Gacy and film everything he did in order to capture the most horrific realism they could. Not all horror is bound by the need to be gory, gutsy and bloody, but most of them are intended to scare at some level. And that scariness is often lost when you are forced to try and keep certain elements out of films, such as Hostel or Saw when they get cinematic releases. They will then inevitably have to release the original version (the theatrical version) as well as the unrated, uncut, unbelievably horrifying version. It comes with the territory of having made a film that is balls-to-the-wall and not being able to show it in its fullness to everyone. There begins the DVD dilemma. Horror movies almost always exist in multiple versions depending on cuts, ratings, etc etc. Even the older ones get rereleased to be more impressive and ominous. Fortune smiled on me when I found the extended and full version of The Wicker Man (original) where they had reinsterted most of the missing footage. That version is far superior, but had I already bought the old cut version, I’d doubtless have felt compelled to buy a second version. I know many horror fans who double-dip. Some of the members of Horrormoviefans.com can practically open their own DVD shop with the amount of extras and doubles they have acquired. Some have been clever and bought the special editions and super-versions from the start (I always try to get the best versions possible, but I do love extras) while others sell their old stuff in favour of a new version. Some are fanatic enough to own all of them. Either way, many horror fans will recognize that there are many many versions of their favourite films out there, and they all seem to have something new to offer, some new way to make us want to buy just one more DVD.

But this is surely just sanctioned and condoned fiscal rape! We’re being played like a tune. The film companies know they can get us to buy 4 versions of The Exorcist, so they put four of them out, each one just that little bit better or newer or more polished than the next. They’re taking advantage of us as fans, and they are taking advantage of our will to spend money on our genre. They’ve clearly talked to George Lucas, whose house is filled with the goldplated gullability of Star Wars fans. Of course, this way well be a vicious circle that we will never as fans get out of, but we should at least be aware that the many DVDsthey are forcing us to buy is an exortionate joke on our character and a blemish on our intellect. We surely know that 4 seconds of extra footage is not going to make a film better or worse, and can be added to a DVD before they sell it in no time flat. Companies and their producers should just put everything they can think of onto a massive 3DVD box-set, sell it for the price of an average DVD, and stop jerking us around with their special editions and multiple features. We deserve to be given better by now. I love extras, and I don’t want to see that diminish, but release it all at once for one easy retail price, is that too much to ask?

Still, I say that knowing full well this is an endless evil cycle, but if you don’t say something about it, who knows what they’ll think of next. Selling the film in parts? Installments and chapters of films? Special features about the special features (how Lord Of The Rings) or worse? I’m becoming a wary consumer, because the excess of choice with films, and the promise of more great stuff I just HAVE to watch is getting tiresome. Now if you’ll excuse me I’m off to select which version of Frankenhooker to watch.