Could Use Some Advice

[Slaughterhouserock]

I have a friend who's been through some shit. Raped, abused, used, and generally just treated like absolute garbage her whole life by everyone from family to strangers. Somehow, she turned out to be a decent person, but with a shitload of disorders from years of mental, emotional, and physical abuse. Anyway, she's currently in a relationship with a guy that is just continuing the abusive cycle. No matter how much I explain to her that the guy is a piece of shit, she keeps going back to him. I know this is pretty standard for victims of abuse, but I'm on the verge of just ending things for her. Anyone have any advice on how to help her realize she'd be better off single before I get blood on my hands?

[DancesWithWerewolves]

That's a shitty situation. I wish I knew how to help. You've already explained it to her, and she probably already agrees too, but somehow they can't let go, and those situations make me just feel sad.

[Tiggnutz]

Unfortunately her previous abuses may be driving her to seek out other abusive partners. She needs to seek help or this will be a continuous cycle.

[Slaughterhouserock]

A buddy of mine talked me out of pummeling the guy as it would likely just cause more problems than anything, even if it's deserved. I ended up talking to a domestic abuse counselor so I don't fuck things up even more. Gotta say, I don't like the advice they gave, but my opinion doesn't matter, so I'm just gonna suck it up and do what they said. But man, I can't express how hard it is not to do something.

[Reign in Blood]

Let me preface this with saying I'm a horrible person to ask this to right now. Give me half a reason, I'll rip your fucking throat out, so this sounds like a beautiful full reason! What sucks is, say you do this, and it seemingly makes things better somehow, she finally breaks up with him, whatever. And then she just jumps to the next douchebag, and you go back to square one.

[Slaughterhouserock]

Let me preface this with saying I'm a horrible person to ask this to right now. Give me half a reason, I'll rip your fucking throat out, so this sounds like a beautiful full reason! What sucks is, say you do this, and it seemingly makes things better somehow, she finally breaks up with him, whatever. And then she just jumps to the next douchebag, and you go back to square one.

Pretty much. And I have anger issues, so violence is usually an option, but I've been good at controlling that and was able to discuss the consequences with someone before making this shitheel suffer. She needs to figure this shit out and me burying him in an unmarked grave won't make her realize anything. So, I wait.

[showa58taro]

Man that is horrible. I’ve never dealt with anything lined out, but would very much assume talking to counselors or similar is a good start, and presumably at some point you can report the guy to the actual police? Or is that not an option in this case? Either way, awful situation and sorry to hear it’s affecting you and your friend so badly.

[Slaughterhouserock]

Man that is horrible. I’ve never dealt with anything lined out, but would very much assume talking to counselors or similar is a good start, and presumably at some point you can report the guy to the actual police? Or is that not an option in this case? Either way, awful situation and sorry to hear it’s affecting you and your friend so badly.

I've known far too many rape and abuse victims. It's horrifically common, they usually just don't talk about it. And unless he beats her up or something, there's little the cops can do.

[showa58taro]

That’s just so horrible