(Reviewed by Slaughterhouserock) - Wow, this is one hilariously stupid film.  It opens with a voiceover that's got some weird effect on it that I'm guessing is supposed to sound scary, but only succeeds in making it sound dumb.  It tells the story of the "Mangina"...yeah, great start already.  The Mangina has little to do with the film, but they explain how it's a sexless thing living in the "backwoods" that has immense power.  Cut to a close up of a fat guy's ass as he fucks a fat chick(played by a guy).  All this within the first five minutes!  I knew I was in for a treat.

So the story is about the fat lady who gets struck by lightning while wondering through the "backwoods" trying to find Deke(the guy she was fucking) who ran off after she said something about being pregnant.  Thirty years after the lightning strike, we find her still in the woods and still pregnant, but not for long.  She finally gives birth to a middle-aged fat man(the same guy who played Deke).  The manchild comes out of his mom's ass which they show in a rather goofy scene.  He's born a genius, but after his mom accidentaly drops him, he becomes quite retarded.  Then one day Mama goes off to town and gets hit by a car driven by "wild teenagers".  They leave the body on the side of the road which Luther(the manchild) finds with the help of Mangina.

Now let me take a minute to explain Mangina a bit more.  It's played by a guy who's completely naked with the exception of some weird ass mask which is supposed to be it's face.  To pull off the no sexual orientation of the Mangina, the guy tucks his dick in between his legs(oddly enough, I used to know a guy named Gabe who would do the same thing claiming to be his sister, "Gabrielle"...he too was an idiot).  When Mangina appears, it wiggles around and talks in an indecipherable voice while the camera has some dumb effect on.  From what I could understand, Mangina tells Luther to kill everyone.  And so he does...

Wearing his mother's dress and wig, Luther proceeds to kill the teens off in not-so-creative ways.  About half an hour into it, you can tell that the filmmakers gave up on trying to make it even remotely serious.  There's plenty of examples, such as putting FORESHADOWING on the screen and having the editor come in and talk about how he's getting sued because of a sex scene.  There's plenty of other stuff in this film that I could make fun of, but I don't wanna ruin it for those interested in seeing this.

I will say this though, Backwoods is definitely worth watching and maybe even worth buying.  It's so bad that it's fucking hilarious.  And the ending is not to be missed...it's nothing special, but I thought it was funny as hell.  The camera and effects used are utterly ridiculous.  I'm pretty sure they just used a camcorder and whatever effects happened to come with it, but I was too busy laughing at the sheer idiocy of the film that I didn't really care.  And David Hayes(the guy who plays Luther) should get a fucking Oscar for playing a retarded redneck so well.  I'm almost convinced that he really is one.  So, for entertainment value alone, Backwoods gets a 3 outta 5.  If you like bad movies, this is for you.